Almost stories

DROWN
My dad almost drowned in Okanagan Lake in front of me and Jordan when we were about 6 and 8. We were sitting on the lawn watching him swim. We laughed cause we thought he was doing a funny swim. He was actually snorkeling by himself and he can't swim well and a wave came over into his snorkel and he started choking and flailing his arms. He yelled help and we freaked out and ran inside to grab my uncles who were playing cards. They ran down to the water and saved him.

DECAPITATE
I was acting like an a-hole at public skate and showing off I did a sarcastic single axel figure skating manuever and almost cut a little girl's head off with my skate blade follow through.

TOTAL
Driving with Jeff and Ali Clarke in their speedy little Acura, we suddenly see a huge steel wheelbarrow in our lane. Clarkey almost smokes it. Huge multi-car pile-up was guaranteed to ensue.

SLAP
Trevor fires a slapshot as hard as he can during warm-up at floor hockey last week and almost hits young innocent Paul Curtis square in the eye. Misses by about two inches. Paul falls to the ground in fear of what almost happened.

SPLIT
My uncle Bruce loves finishing his water skiing session dangerously close to the dock so he has less distance to swim. He somewhat loses control and almost splits his body in half on the dock but has the wherewithal to duck like a gymnast and sink himself under the dock.