I will buy you $500 in coffee

Visa called to tell me they were suspicious of fraud on my card.
Some dude got my number and made a fake card with a different name on it.
He went to Starbucks this morning and spent $500.
My coffee-drinking co-worker thinks he must have bought one of those crazy expensive coffee makers.
The transaction was approved but Visa put a fraud warning on the card because the name didn't match the number.
Then he went over to Shell and got declined.

To my creative and technologically sneaky friend.
Dude, you have mad skill to be able to make Visas.
Let's harness this energy and re-direct it into a Bachelor's degree in computer programming...
Also, I will buy you all the coffee you want. I am a pastoral kind of guy, and North Van pastors love to buy people coffee. I will buy $500 in coffee (over a friendship of several years).
And my bud, I will even pay for you gas, so long as I can carpool with you to the beach or the movie theatre or something.
Let's be friends.

Enjoy your maximum 60 days until you're likely arrested and I have my dollars back to by somebody ELSE coffee.

I hate coffee.