I set my watch to eBay official time the other day, which happens to be four minutes ahead of my regular life, and as a typically late person I'm finding that I'm on time for more things now.
Born in Burnaby to a blonde white woman named Mrs. Chong, dropped out of a shopping cart at age 2, was left alone at Expo '86 at age four and found 20 minutes later. Ever since I've kept the same haircut while spending one year with a porn stache and eating my first piece of broccoli at age 22
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